How can we make it more equal when it comes to initiating sex?

I have been with my long term girlfriend for five years. I am seriously thinking about getting engaged.

Over the last three years she has taken control of our sex life. I have definitely become submissive in the bedroom. We don’t get into BDSM, but she always decides when, where, and how. She loves this control. While I have come to accept my submissive role, and I do certainly enjoy making love to her and pleasing her, I have asked her on many occasions for some variety. I would like to enter her sometimes and she has not performed oral sex on me for years. Granted, I am a bit under average in the endowment area and she always has a hard time reaching orgasm with straight intercourse. I have tried to talk to her, but she always shuts down the convo by making me admit that I love pleasuring her. Of course when we start fooling around I am so excited that I just follow her lead.

Honestly, I am very happy in every other aspect and I don't want to add any friction to the relationship. She is a very private person and doesn’t like to talk sex. Visiting a therapist is not an option as I have already subtly suggested it and been rebuffed. Should I be overly concerned? Should I continue to press the issue (although it doesn’t seem to be getting me anywhere) or just accept my role? Again, I do enjoy pleasing her and I usually get off. I guess I could be happy continuing this way and I don't want to lose her. I would love your thoughts.


What kind of lube should I use when I cock-stuff?

I have started "cock-stuffing" in the past year or so. I use a glass thermometer and insert it into my urethra. I know that this is wildly dangerous — as the glass could break — but I thought it safer as it is manufactured very smoothly.

I know other men who use a variety of implements — pens, markers, tubes, etc., but I have only done it a few times — and it seems that the glass — while not safe as it could break — is safer as it must surely be smoother.

I use my own saliva as a lube — as I am not sure if a personal lubricant — i.e., Wet, KY jelly, or the like, is safe. Not that putting a piece of glass into your urethra is all that safe to start with.

My question — in the end — is personal lube okay to use? Is this a common fetish — I don't do it often — and it doesn't seem to affect me adversely afterwards.

Thank you for any light you can shed on this.


What should I do if I inhaled bleach fumes?

After a night out with friends, I stopped in a nearby cafe before heading home to use the restroom. Unbeknownst to me, the staff had just mopped the restroom with bleach. Usually, a clean bathroom is a welcome amenity, but this one in particular is very small (barely a water closet) with zero ventilation. Though I was in there a brief time, my eyes and nose began to burn and water, and I could not very well open the door until it was time to wash my hands. It's been well over an hour since I inhaled all that bleach, and my eyes, nose, throat, and lungs all burn. I can't taste anything, and all I can smell is bleach. My head also hurts. I've gotten a lot of fresh air and plan to go back outside shortly, but these side effects have yet to abate. Am I in danger of respiratory damage? Is there anything specific to this situation I can do to alleviate the pain and discomfort?

Thanks for your help.


Is head banging hazardous to my health?

I am the front man for a heavy metal band that is steadily growing in popularity. During shows, the whole band head bangs, but I seem to go a little bit harder than everyone else. Every morning after a show, I wake up with stiffness, soreness, and slight swelling of my neck and upper shoulders. Lately, I have been thinking that maybe thrashing my head around as if it isn't connected to my body is a bad idea.

My question is this: Does head banging cause any permanent injury that I should be concerned with? If so, how could I head bang differently to lessen the injury?


Why was my first time so painful?

1) I have never had sex, but I have tried now twice with my boyfriend, and it has been incredibly painful. It felt like there was a barrier inside me, and the second time I bled. I feel like I am relaxed, and my boyfriend is very gentle and slow, but it still really hurts — more than I think it should. I am able to use tampons — I'm not that small — but I don't know what the problem is. Is it supposed to hurt this much? Could there be something wrong?

2) I'm a virgin, and the first time my boyfriend inserted his fingers in my vagina, it hurt a lot, and I got sore down there. I didn't reach an orgasm, but faked it so he would stop. I didn't enjoy it at all and I was wondering... is this going to happen when I have sex? Is it going to be as disappointing?